Oh Valentine's Day... one of the worst days of the year to go on social media as the second you open Instagram you are overloaded with posts about how much Sally loves Joe, Tina loves Betty and John loves Tom. The Hallmark Holiday of the year.
Growing up, my mom always told me that Valentine's Day is just another day that men think they can buy you flowers, chocolate and take you out for a mediocre dinner and that it makes up for all the other days where they do nothing. Well that may sound a bit pessimistic, is it completely false? Not totally... at least from my friends' and my experience. But what is made to be even worse than being treated by your shitty boyfriend/girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
Being A L O N E. If you're single, you're made to feel bad about yourself as if you aren't loveable or it means something is wrong with you.
The truth is, in ancient Rome, February marked the beginning of springtime, a time of fertility and purification. To honour the Roman god Lupercus, who was associated with fertility, the Lupercalia festival was held from February 13th to 15th. During this festival, men would sacrifice animals and then whip women with the hides of the slain animals, believing it would increase their fertility. Men would then join in the town square, pick a random women's name out of a hat and that is who they would couple with for the remainder of the festival. While some of them went on to marry, it doesn't sound very lovey dovey to me. (Source)
We are thankfully past this awful practice and festival but I wanted to share as it highlights the pretty dark history of what is now viewed as the day everyone displays how great their relationship is on social media.
So what do you do if you are spending Valentine's Day alone? Here is a plan for you to spend Valentine's Day by showing yourself some love.
Stay off social media! If you know you're going to get into a negative thought spiral scrolling through Instagram don't do it. Put your phone away or on do not disturb for the day!
Clean or purge an area of your home. I don't know about you, but there is something so satisfying about doing a deep clean of my space before I begin my self-care routine that just sets the scene. Being in a clean space can support a feeling of calmness and relaxation. If this feels too overwhelming, do a small tidy, focus your energy on the space you'll be spending the rest of your day, or grab a garbage bag and get rid of any wrappers or old food.
Have an everything shower. Do a face mask, have a bubble bath, shave, spend extra time shampooing and conditioning your hair, use your favourite smelling body wash, whatever this looks like. You can play music, light candles, set the mood for yourself!
What is your favourite meal or drink? Order it or make it! Indulge in your cravings and/or order a feast.
Go for a walk. You can throw on your favourite music, podcast, make yourself a soothing tea or coffee and go for a nature walk. If you don't feel like walking, maybe open a window or patio door and just feel the fresh air.
Engage in your favourite hobby. Do you like painting, colouring, knitting, or maybe it's watering your plants? This day is about Y O U, do what makes you feel good!
Movie/TV Marathon: Create a cozy atmosphere at home with blankets and snacks, and indulge in a movie marathon featuring your favourite films or shows. I know I'll be binge watching Real Housewives after work!
Journal. Reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and goals in a journal. Use this time to express gratitude, set intentions, and prioritize self-reflection.
Read a Book! Just like the movie/tv marathon, get yourself cozy with a warm bevy, your go-to snack, and get lost in whatever book you're reading!
Exercise! Do some yoga, life weights, go for a run, if moving your body makes you feel good then go for it!
Do you have to do everything on this list? Absolutely not. These are a few ideas that can support you in showing love towards yourself, instead of getting stuck on a shitty date with Chad or Britney.
Engaging in self-care practices regularly, not just if you're single on Valentine's Day, can have significant impacts on our well-being and mental health. Research has shown that consistent self-care routines can lead to reduced stress levels, improved mood, and enhanced overall psychological well-being. By incorporating these self-care practices into our daily routines, we can cultivate resilience, strengthen our mental health, and enhance our overall quality of life. Taking care of ourselves is not only beneficial for our own well-being but also enables us to show up as our best selves for those around us.
So, just remember, before you begin down the spiral of feeling bad about yourself for being alone on Valentine's Day, take a moment and ask yourself, "would I rather do what makes me happy and feel good or be stuck on a bad Tinder date at a mediocre restaurant?"
Do what makes you happy!
Ali
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